Blood
by liliaeth
Summary: When Gunn finds AI's new seer, Angel learns the true meaning of family (post-Home, post-chosen)
1. Lost

He could feel it slipping into him, hear it, touch it as it racked through his brain, setting him up for pain, nothing new. He could hear the shadows gathering, a boy crying, a girl running. And still all he felt was his naked feet burning as he touched them covered in dust and mud. He fled back in his corner, hiding from eyes to worn to see. 

The world was covered in the last light of day and for now, still, it was peace. And he huddled in his stolen clothes, a shirt and pants taken from a wire to hide reborn Victorian modesty, a century out of date. He was the silent one, not bothering to share with the others covered in rags, searching warmth from a little fire made in the middle of the room. He didn't speak, not with the humans covering like sheep, not with the predators lurking in the shadows below.

A rat slipped past him, he grabbed it before he even realized what he did. Staring at it's rugged fur, feeling it's little heartbeat raging in its body. Food, yet no more. His face stayed human now, no longer a mask hiding his true self. He threw the critter, it scattered away, running for it's miserable drop of life.

He didn't know, 

what, 

no clue.

His name, 

his past.

Not him, no more.

Covering in light, sitting by the window watching the city pass by as he burned, red hot. Still didn't know if he freckled. His stomach rumbling, it didn't stop when he wanted it too.  
Empty.  
Yet nothing compared to the hunger that had devoured him for the past century. It still stung, not enough to make him kill, yet enough to turn a lost bananapeel in a three course meal.

No shoes, no tie, no service.

He didn't dare sleep.

A predator reduced to this, prey to the dark, his punishment.

********

"Charles Gunn, senior management."

Charles let his finger gently brush past the letters of the tag on the door before opening it, holding his one cardboard box as he entered his office. It had been a month since they'd taken on Wolfram and Heart's offer and this was the first time he'd dared to actually see the office as his. 

It was an interesting feeling. Charles Gunn, formerly homeless and jobless, now on the top floor. He had a secretary. Charles Gunn had a secretary.

And of course.... Macy, waiting for him at, well on his desk. His assistant, officially. 

Even if he still wasn't sure what his job was supposed to be.

"Welcome boss."

Gunn's secretary stood up, clutching a few papers.   
"Mr. Gunn, you have some messages. Mr. Wyndam-Price said he found a prophecy which will need to be taken care of by.... Next year. You got a call from Miss Raiden. She's needed to reschedule dinner for eight o'clock. You also got a call from a.... Randall Golden."

He snapped up, suddenly full of attention.

"Randall? What'd he say?"

His hand clutching on his leather chair.

"Did they get the funding for the gang?"

Macy got out her book. "We sent ten thousands dollars to your 'crew'.

They refused to take it though. The check still hasn't been cashed."

"What?"

"They didn't cash the check. Should I send another?"

"Sure, so what did Randall say?"

Why hadn't they taken it, he knew they could use the money, even if only to get food for the crew. For the families...

Sally looked over the message. "He said that there's a nest you might be interested in down on fifth."

"Hmmm, what else did he say?"

"That was it, Mr. Gunn. Sorry."

He knew there had to be more, Randall wouldn't just leave it at that. God he missed them, all of them.

He'd gotten so far, wanted to do so much, to help them, by helping Angel, by doing something, through this, the money he now had...

So why did he now feel farther away from them than ever before

He needed to go find them. Talk to them, face to face.

Let them know he was still one of them, now especially...

He grabbed his cell, calling Angel as he went, Angel didn't answer of course, he rarely had the time these days...

One small nest, shouldn't be a problem right?

He would be fine on his own, especially if he ran into the crew on the way.

He was wrong of course.

*******

His dad had just left. Leaving boxes upon boxes there to be unpacked. Sure there had been offers of helping with the unpacking, but there were some things that parents weren't meant to see.  
Not typical teenage stuff. Most of it were Playboys and bongs, but not all of it.

Connor took the curved knife out of the box. He didn't know why he had bought it. He had seen it while shopping with Tracy. He had been drawn to it.

Part of his mind imagined blood on it. He'd hidden it, never using it, but the blood was still clear even as the blade was clean.

But the blood wasn't... Red. It wasn't... Human.

He shrugged it off, hiding the knife under the mattress seconds before his roommate entered the room, arms filled with boxes. He was a skinny, pale kid.   
"Hi. Connor Nelson, right? I'm Paul." He put down his boxes. "What are you majoring in? I'm doing Computer Sciences."

"Ancient history and languages."

Paul nodded, putting a poster up on the wall. It was a... Vampire?

"Nice, and here I figured they'd put me up with a jock."

"Nope. Not here. Definitely not. I played chess."

"Thank God."

"You?"

"An entire life of nerd-dom I'm afraid to say."  


"Cool."

"We're the max." He smiled as he signed the Vulcan greeting. Not doing it completely right.

Paul gave him a funny look.

"How long have you been into Star Trek?"

"Hmm ten... moths."

He smiled apologetically.

"T'Pol is hot."

"Damn right!"

They both laughed, continuing with their unpacking.

And then Paul turned on his cd player, Celine Dion.

*********


	2. Found

Everyone was staring, at him. At his car mostly. Gunn smiled at the looks he got. He wasn't wearing a suit, but what he wore was expensive and it showed.

He stopped at Randall's place, paying some kids to watch over his wheels. No need to get the damn thing stolen on his first day. He'd gotten a call from Randall, after the whole Jasmine fiasco, telling Gunn that he was back with the crew. Gunn went inside the dilapidated house that kept the crew safe from the elements.

Randall was in a corner getting some axes and stakes. One of the girl's stood with him, there was a guy on the couch, holding his head in his hands...

"Randall." Gunn stepped in. He suddenly felt really bad, wearing his nice clothes.

But then, he had sent them money.

"What do you want?"

"You called."

"Yeah I did. Five hours ago."

"Well, sorry. I didn't get the message until now."

The boy just snorted, staring at the man in the corner booth that had gone down again. 

"Three, there's three. Kavrath me Gogh's. They got children, five. Yellow scales, no horns. Claws, ripping. Bar, God kids, dying...."

Gunn recognized the English accent, less posh than Wesley's.

"Who's that?" Gunn asked.

"New guy, he's a bit crazy, but he's worth listening too."

Gunn nodded. "So what's this about a nest? Do we need backup? I can call Angel."

"We dealt with it already. We don't need the stinking vamp."

"Geez, then why did you call me in the first place."

The white guy got up, Gunn started to notice things, wounds in the man's face. The gauntness of his body as if it had been days since he'd eaten.

He was shaking.

There was some kind of crystal thing around his neck. "Hey chief, where did you get that?" Gunn touched the necklace.

The man pulled back, holding onto the thing as if his life depended on it. His brown hair streaked with a few last edges of blond.

"Will it's ok." The girl went up to him. Touching his face.

The man turned them one last look before running off.

The girl wanted to go after him, but Randall stopped her.

"He'll be back.

You know he will."

Gunn started after him.

"I don't like the looks of that thing."

"It's the only thing he's got Gunn."

"Well, that's a magic thing. And magic things with crazy people usually aren't good."

"He's not crazy." they all gave her a strange look.

"Just confused."

"Well, confused and magic aren't any better."

He didn't have to go far to find the guy, the man was sitting on his car, just lying in the sun, staring up at the light. It made him worry about the guy's eyes.

"Hey pal. What're you doing?"

"There's demons, killing kids."

"Yeah, well point me at 'em. I'll get 'em. It's my job. What's your name?"

"Sp.. William. Bad William. William skipped a step."

"Where'd you get that thing?"

"Girl. I hurt the girl. She called me champion. Her champion."

"I think you should come with me. I know people who can help you."

"No. No people. Can't see... Children, ..."

Gunn grabbed for his cellphone, dialing the office. He got Angel's secretary.   
"Yeah. I want to leave a message from Angel--"

The guy jumped at the name.

A shiver overtaking him once more.

Gunn looked at him. "Are you okay?"

The man didn't answer, pulling his knees closer to his chin.

Gunn went back to the phone. "Get Angel on the phone now."

The man's long pale fingers were clutching to the amulet.

Pulling the rope into his skin.

"Hey, William.. Stop that, man." Gunn went back to the phone when he heard the gruff voice.   
"Angel, I've got this weird guy, has this amulet. He's not making any sense. I think I should bring him in."

Gunn nodded, hanging up the phone.   
"William, come on. We're going to go see someone who can help those kids."

"Help. Stop the demons?" 

"Yeah."

A tear came from William's eyes.

Gunn grabbed hold of his hand, helping him down and into the car. William didn't fight him.


	3. Flirtations

Fred held up the microchip, squinting at it. "So... What is it?"

"Which one?" Knox looked up from the screen in front of him.

"This microchip. It's about the size of my... Piece of lint."

"Oh it's a behavior modification chip. Really interesting technology, Wolfram and Heart got it from the files of some Secret Government Ops."

"Oh..." Fred put it down. "Oh."

"It's for demons. They had some interesting files about the use of it on Vampires... Too bad about the flaws..."

"Flaws?"

"The chip went haywire after a while, killing the subject it was implanted in. Aside of that, over half the subjects either killed themselves, or went insane."

"Oh...." Fred back up slightly. "Sounds... Fatal."

"Yeah. Great potential. Too bad that the only survivor of the project ended up dead last month. And the only successtory of the lot as well... Real shame."

"So they were vampires being controlled?" Fred furrowed her brow. "Are there any reports?"

"Sure, file number 45PO65B"

Fred quickly typed in the file number. As she did, her fingers slipped. She gave a small cry.

"Is something wrong?" Knox got up, turning his full attention to her, a sweet smile on his face.

"Stop!" Fred yelped. She looked up, rubbing her head. "That was.... Weird."

"What was?"

"I don't know."

He got closer, his hand touching hers unintentionally.

"Just a strange... Thought."

"Oh? I have those sometimes, like when I wanted to make a portal to other dimensions and... go on..."

"Portals to other dimensions?" Fred paled.

"Uh yeah, you know, travelling from one dimension to the other, exploring new universes...uh, just an idea I had, it's what got me my first internship at Wolfram and Heart."

He picked up one of his doohickeys, a nice little thing that looked like a key chain but was actually a universal remote.

"It wasn't much more than a fantasy though. You might want to talk to Mistress Meerna down in transportation if you want to know more."

"Uh good." Fred turned away from him. Still somewhat shaky of just the thought of getting trapped through a portal again. Any day you weren't pulled through a portal and made a slave, was a good one. And...

What was that thought? Why was she thinking about a kid beating her up?

Cordelia, pregnant, running away with a boy.

She remembered that. But it didn't happen that way. She wasn't sure really. Every time she tried to think of Cordy, of the past few years... there was this feeling... She couldn't quite describe it, as if things didn't mesh.

There were big holes... Something missing.... And most of it, centering around Cordy... Cordy who was still in a coma, still...

Fred shook her head. She was here, in a place full of neat electronic gadgets, with a cute, sweet guy... And she was worrying.

Talking about being mopey.

Fred sighed deeply. "So what's this?"

******

Gunn dragged the thin, ranting man into the lobby. "Calm down, man. I'm going to get you help."

"Not alone, this place is evil."

He was circling, staring everywhere.

"Shadows, death everywhere..."

A strange statement considering the whole lobby was filled with light.

"Okay... Maybe you should talk to Angel... No, what would he do?"

Gunn shook his head, pulling his strange guest with him to the elevator.

The man closed his eyes as the light reflected from the mirrors. Gunn couldn't help notice how William was staring at the mirrors, seeing something, or not seeing something... He wasn't sure which it were.

"Now here here Michael. It'll all be alright. I'm sure that the kids'll be alright, but those masks really aren't good for children that age. I'll talk to you tomorrow, ta ta..."

William startled back at seeing the green demon on the phone.

"Michael?" Gunn couldn't help but smile.

"Michael Jackson, he may be a Sareyte but he's mostly harmless. Had a real pleasure in meeting him though."

Gunn stared up at the door to Angel's office.   
"Is the big guy in."

"Sorry but no, so who's the cutie with the screaming aura?"

"Screaming?"

"Yes, considering how much love, pain and tragedy I feel coming from him and he's not even singing. It's like watching Passions without the images."

"Passions?"  
William looked up as he turned to Lorne.  
"Timmy died."

"Don't I know it, damn shame that."

"Great crazy guy watches Passions." Gunn mumbled.

"So where is he? Angel?"

Lorne lifted his hands in surrender.  
"Not a clue."  
Then to William, all too slowly gazing at him.  
"Have you ever tried wearing leather?"


	4. Worries

Lorne had finally sat down, it seemed that just being near William gave him a headache. Lorne blamed it on the aura. Gunn thought that the Seabreeze that the green demon had been drinking might have had something to do with it as well. Lorne was all fun and games about their deal with Wolfram and Heart and at first Gunn had thought that the green demon was all too eager to go for it. But the more time progressed, the less Lorne seemed to enjoy it.

Ah well, they weren't dealing with it now, now were they. William was mumbling about something again. A conversation with someone they couldn't really see. An apology of the past in a moment they probably weren't supposed to witness.

He tried to call Angel again, they had to hurry if they were to save those kids that William was talking about. Angel still wasn't reachable. Where was that guy?

Then he tried to call Macy, asking her about the new check, returned again. How was he supposed to help them if they wouldn't take the help he offered? God!

"Where's Wesley?"

No one answered, Gunn barely looked up as Fred came in, she was flirting with that science boy again. A bit of jealousy raced through him at seeing them together, even as he knew that he had no right to it. It's not like he'd been all that celibate himself lately.

"Hello?" Fred tapped Gunn on the shoulder. "Earth to Charles. Have you seen Wesley?"

"Wasn't he with you?"

Another second of spite before he got a hold of himself. Over, over and done with, no more rights... And God could he be any more pathetic.

"I'm sorry. Just haven't got a clue."

Fred furrowed her brow, looking at the ranting man and Lorne, who was rubbing his head. "Something going on?"

"Fred, this is William. I found him with Randall's gang. He gets visions, like those of a band of demons holding some kids that need to get saved as in now, better earlier than later."

"Like Cordy's visions?"

William flinched. "Cordy. Like the hair...."   
He began to laugh.   
"Mick's got spine. I wonder what it'd sound like if I snap it in two"

Fred laughed nervously. Unsure what to make of it.  
"Even I'm not that incoherent.... "Then a bit worried to Gunn.  
"I wasn't right?"

He smiled a bit at the worry on her face.

"So there are kids? Have you told Angel?"

"No" Gunn grumbled. 

"We've been trying to reach him for the past half hour."

He was getting anxious. They didn't have much more time.

"What is it with Angel, he gets to be a corporate suit and he no longer has time to save the day?"

"Maybe there's something big coming," Fred said, "Maybe he's busy planning a world saving thing?"

"Yeah, or just holding a stockholder's meeting."

He turned back, trying not to look at Fred's science-boy too much. Couldn't the guy have been old or ugly, or old and ugly.

"He's been unreachable all month."

"Angel wouldn't do that." Fred sighed. "That's not like Angel."

Lorne shrugged. "Power can go to a guy's head. Our fearless leader hasn't been to... Leadery lately."

"But he's still Angel, Champion of the Powers. Even if those Powers might just have been Jasmine and please stop me."

William raked a hand through his hair.   
"So much blood.... So much blood...."

Fred shivered. "We have to find Angel. He'd know what to do."

****

"I don't know what to do." 

Angel laced his fingers with Cordelia's. He stared at her, trying to look beyond the breathing mask covering her face.

"What? I can so admit that. Just don't tell Wesley."

He frowned for a second as if waiting for her response.

"And I don't act like a twelve year old! It's not like I'm not planning to tell Wes about Spike."

He sighed, desperate to touch Cordy.

"I just can't, not right now."

She was so still. Cordy wasn't supposed to be this still. She was supposed to be vibrant, annoying them in that loveable way of her where she pulled all the attention in the room to her with a single whisper.

"It's Spike of all people. I spend a century, honing my brooding, dealing with things and Spike just blunders into it. And now he's supposed to be the big hero? It's just not right."

How was he supposed to react, cause he sure didn't know anymore. What did it mean that Buffy sent him away, she just wasn't ready, but did that mean they couldn't even fight on the same side together? It's not like they could have just restarted their relationship even if he had wanted to. The curse was still there, always. And he'd wanted too, with Cordy gone, he'd been scraping for anything, any sign from the past, that he hadn't lost everything, that something was still left. Only to loose even more.

"How the hell was I supposed to react Cordy? Buffy with that peroxide pest?   
What'd she do with him anyway. She didn't even bother to explain what he did for Willow to curse him in the first place.   
And it's Spike... Spike. As if he could ever make her happy or be good for her. Even with a soul. 

And honestly how much of a copycat is he?

I got a soul first.  
Me, not him. Me."

And yes, he wasn't completely unaware that he was being childish about it. Being souled wasn't fun and games. No sane vampire would ask for it. So it's not like Spike did it on purpose…

But it had been his thing.

Him, the souled vampire, the champion.

What kind of a champion was he that he couldn't even protect his own loved ones, Cordy, Connor, the others… He'd nearly killed Fred for Jasmine for crying out loud. How champion-like was that?

He'd given up so much, sacrificed so much. Yet the first real reward he got, was from the side of evil…

"Did we ever really fight for the Powers Cordy? Or was it Jasmine all along?"  
He sat down next to her.   
"I miss you Cordy."


	5. Alone

Wesley shook his head as he walked beside Gunn. Fred was falling behind, a large axe over her shoulders. "I'm convinced I've seen that man before."

  
"You know a lot of crazy seers, do you?" Gunn replied.  


"Crazy seers...." Wesley looked frustrated. "That sounds familiar too. I just need to figure out where I know it from."  


"Well, figure it out. It would be nice to know where this guy comes from, especially if he's supposed to be Angel's new source. But first let's save these kids."  
  
"Didn't Lorne seem a bit uh... too enthusiastic when we left him behind? I didn't think he enjoyed babysitting all that much?"  
  
Gunn snickered at Fred's description of their friend's behavior. Enthusiastic was putting it mildly. When they'd left the room Lorne had practically been plumping their guest's pillow before letting him sit down.

  
Wes gripped a stake in his hand.   
"So, did this William tell you exactly what we'll be facing?"  


"Uh, ..." Gunn started going through his pockets. "I know I wrote it down somewhere, now where did I..."  


"Something called cravatte goths or something like it..."  
He tried for his backpocket once more.  
"Yellow scales, no horns, with claws... That tell you anything?"  


"Kavrath me Gogh's you mean?"  


"Yeah like I said."  


"Are they bad?" Fred asked nervously. "Do we have enough firepower?"  


"A few axes should do the job. They're generally a simple slice and dice sort of assignment. Are you sure you couldn't reach Angel?"  


"I can try again." Fred pulled out her cell-phone, dialing. She frowned after a moment. 

"He has it turned off."  


"Damn."  


"Just the three of us then uh..."  
Gunn smiled, remembering when it had been just him, Wesley and Cordelia, simpler times... God how he missed them. No matter the pain then, things had just been… easier.

  
Fred slipped her phone back into her pocket.   
"I keep on having bad thoughts. Like maybe C-Justine sunk him to the bottom of the ocean again."  
She shook her head quickly. What was that? It was a strange slip of the tongue.  


"Nah, he's probably just enjoying the high life. Sitting in a bar, drinking a bloody Mary and completely forgeting to check his phone at least once an hour  


"Charles! Angel wouldn't do that. He's probably out saving someone."  
  
"Yeah, the rich and the powerful. Glad to know we've changed the mission." Gunn grunted.

"We shouldn't jump to any conclusions," Wesley said calmly. "We'll speak to Angel when we get back to the office."

  
"If we can find him," Gunn added bitterly.  


"Gunn... Don't... We have a job to do.."  


  
*******

  


He'd stayed put at first, staring at the green demon that dressed like Liberace.

"Anything I can get you, Crumpet?" the demon asked, giving him a great big smile.

Dru had teaparties. His beautiful princess. They had crumpets and other sweets.

Little sweets, god no...

He got up, looking for a place to hide. If he stood still would they know he was real, would they go past him, invisible.

If he didn't see them, would they see him? The shadows saw him, always did...

There were shadows on the corners, in the closets in the room. Shadows of death, sniffs of blood spread through the mortar, death sniffing at him, creeping closer.

The green guy, the shadow that couldn't possibly be real left him. Nice shadow, big enough to touch.

Everything was so strange, weird, not common place. Like his mother's parlor in his mind. Bearing crumpets, easy words. Sing a lullaby.

All thoughts ended with one, cold word. It sounded so familiar, where did he know it from?

"Spike."

Came it from beside him, came it from below? He didn't know.

Rhyme

Who's the dark shadow in the light? Dressed in black, dark knight.

He was grabbed by the shoulder, roughly, too roughly. "Spike. Talk to me." There was a snarl to the voice.   
"Buffy said you were dead."

Buffy.... Buffy.... He could never forget that word.

"Buffy."

****

Angel's first connected with Spike's face, sending him backwards. Spike brought a hand to his mouth, blood sliding down his lip

"You're not real." Spike muttered.

Angel growled, coming at him again. With every word, he gave another blow.

"Angel no!" Fred ran in, grabbing his fist. "Don't!"

"This is Spike!" Angel snarled.

"Spike.... Of course. That's why he seemed so familiar." Wesley shook his head.   
"But.... Angel.... Isn't Spike a vampire."

Angel's let his anger towards Spike recede. He focused on the man ranting in front of him, who licked the blood from his fingers. He concentrated... There was the heartbeat.... The working lungs....

"Spike.... You're.... Alive."

tbc


	6. Second Impressions

Paul was tossing a baseball up in the air, laying flat on his bed. Somehow manages to use every bit of it's surface.  
"So, what's your family like?"

  
Connor shrugged, putting down his book.   
"Dunno... Insanely normal. Two parents, so proud it's disturbing... Bratty little sister, shiny happy big sister... That's about it. You?"

  
Paul kept tossing his baseball up in the air, not replying. Letting it go higher up with every throw, catching it every time it came back down.  
Connor furrowed his brow. "Paul?"  
Paul grabbed the baseball again in his... Connor blinked.  
Why would he think Paul had a claw? Okay, that was enough Lovecraft for him....

  
"They're … demanding. They expect me to follow traditions and live like them, talk like them, eat like them... God I couldn't wait to get out of the hellhole you know..."

  
"Any brothers or sisters?" Connor asked.  


Paul put down his baseball now. "Yeah. A few."  


"What's a lot? Four? Five?"  


"Sixteen."

  
Connor coughed. "Sixteen? Plus you? Oh man.... Your poor mom."

  
"Kind of normal in my family to have lots of spaw-- kids."  


"I don't think I could deal with that."  


"Oh I don't know, one of my sisters has 18 uh kids."  


"She's older then?"  


"Somewhat."  
Connor doubted he really heard Paul say "By a millennia or so."  
Nah, he probably misheard.

  
"Any of them live around here?"  


"No.... Have a cousin in LA, though. Rest of the family is all over the universe." Paul got up, walking around a bit. He looked in the mirror. "Hmm... Have to dye my hair again."

  
Connor quirked an eyebrow. Paul's hair was about the dullest brown imaginable.  
Connor kept lying on the bed, leaning over for a second to pick one of his comics that he'd stacked under there. When he looked up he stared at the mirrorimage of Paul. A mirror image with dark red eyes instead of brown.

  
Paul appeared in front of Connor, peering at the comic book cover. "Whatcha reading?"  


Connor jumped. "Holy crap. You move fast."  


Paul shrugged. "Guess so. So whatcha reading?"  


"X-men..."  


"Oh, man... I just *love* Nightcrawler."  


"Who doesn't..."  
and they went off again.  


And all the time, Connor tried to forget that gutclenching feeling he got when Paul was near. He tried to ignore it, it wasn't real. Real life didn't have real monsters.   
Even as his dreams shouted different.  


*********

It couldn't be Spike. Spike was dead. Dust dead. Had to be the First. Even as his fist had hit the other's chin, even as blood came pouring out, he still kept thinking that. It had to be the First. Pretending to be spike because he was dead. Buffy had said so. 

Only he was alive, living breathing alive.

"He gets that too?'

He started chuckling near hysterically as he backed off from Spike, Spike who was still muttering madly, staring at him with confused eyes that seemingly didn't even see him.

"Angel, what's going on?"

But he couldn't answer. Not now, not ever. Lorne tried to stop him, but he just left. His thoughts raging through his head. Not this too.

"Angel!!"

"He had a soul, before he died, Buffy said he'd gotten a soul."

Then he left the room, slamming the door closed behind him.


	7. Family's a pain

"Man, fuck."

Gunn let himself fall down on the couch, staring at Wesley who'd kneeled down next to their guest. William, Spike was still on the ground, holding on to the pad they'd given him to stop the blood. He didn't seem to be doing much of that though. The man, the former vampire didn't seem to be inclined to do much of anything. He seemed small, too small…

He wasn't sure, but wasn't this guy supposed to be menacing. He had read some of the things about him. Hell he'd read Angel's file a couple of times and Spike was a part of that. But to see him like this, it made him wonder. The guy sure didn't seem like a pychopathic murderlustic madman or any sort of big bad. More like a little lost boy.

"So he had a soul, then he died and now he's human?"

"The Shanshu prophecy."

Spike flinched at Wesley's attempt to touch him. 

"It's ok, I'm not going to hurt you."

He touched him again, the former vampire didn't budge this time, but his eyes flashed panic.

"This is incredible really. A vampire restored to human…"

Didn't seem all that incredible to him, more like a joke.  
You get to be human, you loose your mind. Or was that lost before?

"I have to get my books, check for references."

"Jesus Wes."

"This could change the meaning of a thousand different prophecies. Every prophecy that we thought was about Angel, a hundred new possibilities. Just the idea that there could be more than one souled vampire… Who's to say that Spike will be the last one? Maybe there's even more."

"More vampires with a soul?"

And Gunn's mind involuntarily flashed back to a little girl's eyes. Alonna's sense of betrayal as he staked her, the one girl that he'd sworn to protect. Forever. And another image shot through his mind of a happy boy's face and his betrayal as they cut him, his face cutting to rage…What the hell was that?

He'd staked Alonna. He'd been so sure it was the right thing to do, that he'd saved her from a fate worse than death. But what if it hadn't been, what if he'd just killed her, murdered her, betrayed her…

Wes was still rambling on about books and prophecies and possibilities… Fred had gone to get a drink and tried to hand it to the former vamp. So that's how it was. A chance and he'd taken it away from Alonna.  
He left the room, he really needed to make a call to Randall.

*******

"Mandy, you gave and you gave without taking. And I …"

"Angelcakes please stop. "

Lorne slapped his hands to his ears desperate to give his ears some protection, and not just from the … music, if that's what you could call it. His head was killing him, his ears were ringing and by Aretha's throat, he needed a drink.

Why couldn't that vampire give up on the brooding for a second, just long enough to fill his offices bar with something other than O pos? Even now that the singing had finally mercifully stopped Lorne could still feel the waves of desperation smothering him like a wet blanket. There was the usual brooding guilt, so sexy in the right proportions. A fire of resentment, and of course, guilt, as usual.

But most of all, the one thing filling Angel's mind and immediate future the most was the incredible need to put his hands on the interloper's neck and squeeze him to an inch of his life. Either that or throw him against the wall and shag him into it. Lorne didn't even want to think of the other possibilities that the vampire's mind could come up with.

"I don't like him Lorne. I can't stand him."

"Well…"

"Did you know that he managed to make me want to stake him ten minutes after he came crawling out of his grave? He only survived that first week because I didn't want to deal with one of Dru's crying jigs if I dusted her toy."

"So you could say he annoys you?"

Angel's glare could freeze a fire.

"Angel crumpet. He's not going to go away, you know. And he is family? Isn't he?"

"We can't always choose our family. Well… we can… sometimes. "

Lorne shivered, thinking of his own family for a second. The less said about them, the better.

"But aren't you even the slightest itty bit proud of the kid?"

"Proud?"

"Well… for following you in your footsteps. The soul."

"Saving the world?"  
He seemed so childlike as he turned to the green demon.

"Would I really sound like a twelve year old if I said no?"

tbc

Just thought I'd apologize for this taking a bit longer, you can't imagine how hard it is to try and find Lorne and Angel's inner voices…


	8. Like snakes under your skin

Fred sat down on the couch next to him, cocking her head and focusing on William.   
"Maybe we're going about this wrong..." She looked up at Gunn. "Looking at prophecies."

Gunn was stumped, "huh".

"Well, I mean, Wesley is assuming that this is Shanshu.... Well...." She stood up slowly. "We haven't thought about Darla."

"What about Darla?"

Fred rolled her eyes. "Wolfram and Hart brought back Darla as a human. Maybe... Maybe they did it again. I mean, it wouldn't surprise me if they went behind Angel's back."

"And they put him in as a plant?

Now that's a refreshing thought. Not."

"I'm not going to put it past them." Fred wrinkled her nose. "But why she brought him back all crazy...."

"Well... we don't know what Darla was like when they brought her back. I mean, even with a soul, who knows where he ended up after dying... He was a vampire..."

"We should ask around. See if anyone knows anything. Be casual about it."

"So you can go through Knox's mind a bit more?"

He winced at the name, while trying to give his leer a good try.

"Charles..." Fred sighed. "Please don't."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't. It's just... Hard, seeing you with him. And yeah, I know I haven't been... "

"You've been seeing Electro-gal for months!"

"I know! That's the worst part. Knowing that I've got no right. God I haven't felt this bad since..."

Flashes of memory went through his mind, chasing Matthew in the tunnels, finding him, a boy, Connor....

Who was Conner?

"Charles? Charles, are you all right?"

"Fred. Have you... This is stupid. Have you ever met a guy called Connor?"

He was so sure she was gonna hit him for this. Yet another guy he had no right to be angry about but.... it kept playing through his mind. The name, memories that just wouldn't take form.

Fred's eyes grew wide. "You mean... It's not just me?"

"Not just..." he stared at her in shock.

"It keeps coming up... as if I'm supposed to remember, only I don't... and...."

"I've been having these weird flashes. Like memories. But I've never met anyone named Connor."

"Me neither."

"Then why?"

Fred wrung her hands. "I don't know. Maybe we should talk to Wesley."

"Like when? He's barely ever around us anymore. Either he's covering himself under his books, or he's with 'Lilah'. Or just trying to avoid 'Her'. It's like he doesn't even want to see us anymore when it's not case related."

"Well, who else would have any idea? It's not like we can talk to Angel about his--" Fred blinked. "His... I just..." She rubbed her head. "I lost it."

"What happened between us all Fred? I remember us being friends and then something happened. I'm just not clear what... And things just changed."

"I know...." Fred nodded. "We won't talk to Wesley... I don't think he'll know anything anyway. We need to find Angel."

"Yeah, as if he's ever just around us anymore."

Damn, everything was just so wrong.

"What about Lorne?

He might know something... I mean, he always seems more in tune than we are. How do we ask him without sounding completely insane?"

Fred shrugged. "I dunno... 'Oh Lorne you wouldn't happen to know a psychotic teenager named Connor? Would you?'"

"You've never used a tazer have you?"

*****

He'd been staring at his hands almost since Angel, Angelus left, refusing to look up to the others, to listen to them. Angel's minions, were they going to kill him. Angelus, sire of sire, sire.

Blood. So much. 

He wanted to yell at him, scream.  
"What did you make me, why did you turn me into this?"  
But he didn't dare. Couldn't… No right, no doubt…

"It was me… All me."

And that was the truth. All the killings his, all the blood his to bear.

And he could remember, glorious memories, the four of them, then two. Him and Dru, beautiful Dru. His dark ravenous goddess. All the blood he spilled for her, the nightmares. Her, him…

"Dru used to love her dolls, stack em up she did. Miss Edith was naughty too often… Had to be punished. All of them."

And then Angelus didn't come home, left them, all alone, wandering. Trying.

Coming back, happy homecoming, wasted.  
"Where were you sire. Where?"

But the blood was gone, his hands still covered, still seeking.

And the minions wouldn't see it, wouldn't hold. There were two of them, the others left… they all left.

Buffy? Where?

But she was never here, was she?  
Was she real? Had he just imagined her? His salvation?

This was real right? The two of them, talking, staring..

Angel, always him, always....

And he was falling, hitting the floor, staring up at a boy.

A boy with eyes...Another boy running, no not him. 

The worlds were fading, splintering. Happy family, ... cracking.

He grabbed his head, shutting his eyes. If he kept them open, he got strange double-vision, both the real world and the one in his head... The one of the boy....

The boy that didn't fit.

"Blood. He's blood. Boy."

Spike rocked back and forth, that face burned in his mind. The boy with the face of an angel. He was in trouble.

"Knife, blood on the knife. Boy."

He cringed as they all surrounded him, their voices loud, too loud, after the silence. Asking, demanding...

But all he could see was the boy, his pain, utter pain.

******

Connor had just gone through an hour of the most boring history class he'd ever imagined. God how bad could this be.

Paul was nowhere to be seen. Connor grabbed one of his shirts, replacing the one he'd accidentally smudged when he'd uh fallen asleep, right on top of the clayheap they were supposed to be admiring. He moved to the mirror, not really paying attention and almost slipping on something. He barely held up on the cabinet, breaking it with his force.

He stared down, wondering what Paul had left lying around now. He lifted his foot, trying to get it out from under, nearly shrieking when he saw it. Skin.

Wet skin on the floor, skin, with Paul's face.

And it was red.

Blood?

"Paul?" connor started to back off, ready to call for help when he turned around, running smack into Paul who was standing in the doorway.

"Damn you weren't supposed to see that."

tbc


End file.
